I think I missed a memo..
As I lay in bed watching the ceiling fan rotate this morning, I should have heeded the small voice in the back of my head which said '..don't go in today..'. Little did I know that my subconscious was aware of some odd celestial alignment which stood poised in a distinct arrow shape to ram me in the ass. Like a dumbass, I got out of bed.
I pulled into work to find out the 'patch' our billing system vendor implemented blew the bejeezus out of every other process, including my data warehouse. By 7:00, I was staring down the barrel of being behind 2-4 hours in my daily routine while I pieced the damned thing back together. This carried with it other considerations, not the least of which was the fact that I wouldn't get a chance to eat lunch today unless I left while everything was coming back online and grabbed breakfast somewhere quick.
I jumped in my car at 10:00 after fielding 2 hours of repetitive 'when can I run reports' emails, phone calls, office visits, and carrier pigeon borne messages to sneak out and grab a breakfast burrito inspired to be a good rower for caesar and optimize my time. On the way to McD's I noticed I was low on gas. So I gas up my car, get in it, turn the key....and nothing.
Fantastic...
I went into the gas station and noticed immediately that the pay phone was absent, in it's place a clean pay-phone-shaped area of paint below the 'phone' sign. I managed to procure a phone book from the guy behind the counter and proceeded to call the closest tire and battery place. The clerk informed me he was filling in for someone else that day, and he didn't know if they used a tow service or not.
"Just give me a number for one" I said, feeling the last drops of patience I had leaking away from the hole in my self-control radiator. Thirty minutes later, during which I consumed my mcdonalds breakfast in my 98 degree car, the tow truck guy showed up, jump started my car for the good samaritan fee of only 45 dollars, and I was on my way to Tires Plus for a new battery.
Here comes the bonus.
Apparently the '03 Kia Optima utilizes the pinnacle of automotive battery technology. The overweight, stereotypical mechanic informed me of such, and the only thing missing from the entire scenario was a pit of screaming souls behind him being kept at bay by pitchfork wielding underlings who danced about in glee..well, that and his 'Mammon' nametag. 175.00 for the damned battery alone, and I know I'm getting raped on the entire ordeal but there isn't a damned thing I can do about it.
I'm just hoping they don't try to sell me a new alternator too, I don't know if I have the guts to look Mammon in the face and tell him to stick it up his ass.
----update----
3 hours later I have to call the place to ask if they're done, and what it's going to cost me.
"Yeah, it's done. Oh! You'll be happy to know we saved you some money on that battery, in fact, the entire bill comes to 120 bucks with everything."
I wonder if my mention of my friend who works at interstate battery, and my superb internet search skills prompted a less punitive pricing for the battery.
Fuckers.
At least they didn't try to squeeze me for a new alternator or starter, so that's a first.
I pulled into work to find out the 'patch' our billing system vendor implemented blew the bejeezus out of every other process, including my data warehouse. By 7:00, I was staring down the barrel of being behind 2-4 hours in my daily routine while I pieced the damned thing back together. This carried with it other considerations, not the least of which was the fact that I wouldn't get a chance to eat lunch today unless I left while everything was coming back online and grabbed breakfast somewhere quick.
I jumped in my car at 10:00 after fielding 2 hours of repetitive 'when can I run reports' emails, phone calls, office visits, and carrier pigeon borne messages to sneak out and grab a breakfast burrito inspired to be a good rower for caesar and optimize my time. On the way to McD's I noticed I was low on gas. So I gas up my car, get in it, turn the key....and nothing.
Fantastic...
I went into the gas station and noticed immediately that the pay phone was absent, in it's place a clean pay-phone-shaped area of paint below the 'phone' sign. I managed to procure a phone book from the guy behind the counter and proceeded to call the closest tire and battery place. The clerk informed me he was filling in for someone else that day, and he didn't know if they used a tow service or not.
"Just give me a number for one" I said, feeling the last drops of patience I had leaking away from the hole in my self-control radiator. Thirty minutes later, during which I consumed my mcdonalds breakfast in my 98 degree car, the tow truck guy showed up, jump started my car for the good samaritan fee of only 45 dollars, and I was on my way to Tires Plus for a new battery.
Here comes the bonus.
Apparently the '03 Kia Optima utilizes the pinnacle of automotive battery technology. The overweight, stereotypical mechanic informed me of such, and the only thing missing from the entire scenario was a pit of screaming souls behind him being kept at bay by pitchfork wielding underlings who danced about in glee..well, that and his 'Mammon' nametag. 175.00 for the damned battery alone, and I know I'm getting raped on the entire ordeal but there isn't a damned thing I can do about it.
I'm just hoping they don't try to sell me a new alternator too, I don't know if I have the guts to look Mammon in the face and tell him to stick it up his ass.
----update----
3 hours later I have to call the place to ask if they're done, and what it's going to cost me.
"Yeah, it's done. Oh! You'll be happy to know we saved you some money on that battery, in fact, the entire bill comes to 120 bucks with everything."
I wonder if my mention of my friend who works at interstate battery, and my superb internet search skills prompted a less punitive pricing for the battery.
Fuckers.
At least they didn't try to squeeze me for a new alternator or starter, so that's a first.
posted earlier by DM, the resident idiot
9 Comments:
Monkey and the no good, very bad, f'd up, suckass, P.O.S., "Calgon Take Me Away" day.
Why does everything have to team up and hit you all at once?
Why does the universe say "Hey, I'm gonna completely sucker punch ____ today, watch THIS!"?
I hate that shit.
All this time I thought it was just me!!
T or F:
Impatient Girl is to tires as Data Monkey is to batteries.
;)
Oh no. That sucks. And trhis is where it comes in handy to know people. My hubby is a mechanic and so he is always able to wheedle the best prices for when he can't do it himself. As for Mammon, may he rest in his fiery pits.
I pay anywhere from 30-40 bones for the best battery a store has and install it myself and for diagnosing the altenator that is easy to,see I was a mechanic and now I am a soldier I lack in computer skills and you can get or have a job that makes $70 thou a year, I wish I could do that,so instead I have to save money by being a do-it-yourselfer
I wish I made 70G's a year..lol. Trust me, you're better off being a mechanic, you never have to worry about having a job, and you have an entire aspect of life that you don't have to worry about.
People always need their cars fixed. People in the IT industry tend to work themselves out of a job.
"That's great, the whole operation is automated now? Excellent! Here is your severance, it's been great working with you."
Mammmon? For reals?
hey baby, popped on to say I love you! miss you like crazy!!
xoxo the wife
As you can see...the wife keeps close tabs on me.
Kidding, hi honey!
Aww. You guys are so cute
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