Lunchtime paranoia...
I've noticed something lately that's beginning to piss me off. I've been going out to eat for quite some time now, but over the past couple of months there has been a change in my dining experience. Nine times out of ten, it seems, when it comes to the point when the waitress is supposed to ask me what I want to drink, I get attitude. Rather than "...and what would you like to drink?", I get "..Diet Coke, sir?".
The really creepy part is that it's not just one place, but a variety of places. When did all these waitresses gang up and decide it was time to assert themselves as my nutrionist? I mean, do I look like a diet coke drinker? I can't stand diet coke, I'd rather drink grease trap oozings through a straw than swallow diet coke. Bring me a beverage with sugar, and don't judge me while you've got that tribal dump zone tattoo just above your ass.
The first few times I simply brushed it off, no thank you, I'll have a regular coke. Lately, however, things have gotten out of hand to the point that brings us to yesterday.
I'm sitting peacefully enjoying my lunch, having made it through the grueling personal appearance indictment that has recently replaced my initial order experience. I was probably spared because the waitress was just a ham sandwich short of orca status herself, but managed to be upbeat about it and kept a pleasant attitude.
Or maybe it was a coping mechanism to deal with the full facial beard she was sporting, I can't decide, but regardless, she was very nice although not a good waitress. Sitting in a stall talking to your boyfriend is not the best way to shake loose tip money from my wallet, nor is what happened next.
My drink empty, the waitress ambles her way over, collects my glass and says:
"I'll be back with another diet coke.."
Grrr...
"And I'll get you a razor!" I say with an enthusiastic smile.
Ok...
I really just thought that, what I really said was "no, no, regular coke please..."
Then I said it when she was out of earshot.
Mean I may be, but not cruel.
The really creepy part is that it's not just one place, but a variety of places. When did all these waitresses gang up and decide it was time to assert themselves as my nutrionist? I mean, do I look like a diet coke drinker? I can't stand diet coke, I'd rather drink grease trap oozings through a straw than swallow diet coke. Bring me a beverage with sugar, and don't judge me while you've got that tribal dump zone tattoo just above your ass.
The first few times I simply brushed it off, no thank you, I'll have a regular coke. Lately, however, things have gotten out of hand to the point that brings us to yesterday.
I'm sitting peacefully enjoying my lunch, having made it through the grueling personal appearance indictment that has recently replaced my initial order experience. I was probably spared because the waitress was just a ham sandwich short of orca status herself, but managed to be upbeat about it and kept a pleasant attitude.
Or maybe it was a coping mechanism to deal with the full facial beard she was sporting, I can't decide, but regardless, she was very nice although not a good waitress. Sitting in a stall talking to your boyfriend is not the best way to shake loose tip money from my wallet, nor is what happened next.
My drink empty, the waitress ambles her way over, collects my glass and says:
"I'll be back with another diet coke.."
Grrr...
"And I'll get you a razor!" I say with an enthusiastic smile.
Ok...
I really just thought that, what I really said was "no, no, regular coke please..."
Then I said it when she was out of earshot.
Mean I may be, but not cruel.
posted earlier by DM, the resident idiot
11 Comments:
It's all true... and the funny thing is...I DO drink diet coke.. I hate the real crap. Too sweet.
And 8 out of 10 times, they will bring me a coke. (not that I am any less "fluffy" than my husband... I guess they just assume that I got "fluffy" by drinking regular coke =)
maybe they just hate us in general honey?
aww fluffy is a cute word... makes it kinda seem like marshmallows... but yeah, so are they hinting that you are overweight? that is so rude.. don't be mean to them.. get cruel those jerks deserve it =) oh and the fish being taunted for not having legs... classic!
Thanks blondie, and welcome :)
And yes, it's a not so subtle hint that I'm overweight. I'm their perfect customer, they'd do well to leave me alone and let me go about my portly business.
From the other side of the counter...
I always thought it was hysterical when customers would order an appetizer, extra, extra ranch dressing, and an entree swimming in cream sauce, then order a diet coke. "'Cause I'm watching my calories," they'd say to their friends.
Still, no excuse for your experience.
Oh it's no big deal, really, but I found it kind of funny.
I was brought up in a household that only purchased diet soda. I think we had parents that would prefer we get a tumor from the saccharin than be on a sugar high at bedtime.
So ordering a monster burger and a diet coke and then claiming to be watching your calorie intake is a bit inane, but I can relate if they say it's just too sweet. (I'm with Lisa.)
If I get a regular coke instead of my diet, I feel like I just stuck a straw in a bottle of corn syrup and took a swig.
I blame my parents for making me the Courtney Love of artificial sweetners. :)
OMG- the hubby has a running bet going with a friend as to how long its going to take me to rip someone a new one, that someone being the next server that assumes that I want a diet coke...I hate diet. I'm not super skinny, but I'm not a cow..geez
Geez, you got off easy. The thing I've noticed over the last little while is the the number of times I have to ask for my water. Not to mention bread. Worse, I get attitude when I ask for those basic substinences. Inmates don't even have to ask for it for cripes sake. How much does or should bread and water account for the tip? As for the diet coke, add presumptuousness to the list of new found traits in the modern era.
I'm considering asking for water from now on. I would assume they're thinking that since you're asking for water you're not a big tipper, but the truth is, I'm asking for water so you can't screw it up, thus ruining your tip in the first place.
I wait till I get my food then I go off on the shitbag waiter/waitress,and then dont tip.I have also written them a tip saying *do your fucking job*
Yes but you also carry an automatic weapon and park a tank in the parking lot. That commands much more respect than my fuel efficient sedan.
At least until I get my front mounted twin synchronized 20mm vulcan machine guns, swivel mounted mortar tubes, and side mounted anti-personnel claymores.
I'll have to get a personalized license plate at that point.
I'm thinkin "MOVE" says it all.
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